Advent: Day 2

With money from your money box, choose a child from the giving tree and buy them a gift for Christmas.

1st day of Advent

This morning was the first day of Advent. The tree has been up since last week. The Advent calendars empty, waiting for this morning and the first chocolate and message from the Christmas angels (who have teeny voices by the way, that only Mummy can hear as they whisper their instructions each night).

New Christmas books waiting under beds for excited children to find, to be read over and over as we wait out this special time until Christmas.

Delayed Gratification

I often talk about how different my children are. I watch them travel through their days adopting different approaches to everything that they encounter. One child's weakness is the other child's strength. It's funny though, as Missy grows older the disparity is getting smaller.

Tools is reading the Time Paradox. The other night he stumbled upon Mischel's Marshmellow Test. I studied this in my Child Psychology days but had clean forgotten about it. You can read about it here, but basically it was an experiment studying delayed gratification in the 1970's, carried out on 4 year old children.

We always talk about the Rooster being really good at delayed grafification. We can give him his fruit and place a lolly or Tiny Ted next to his plate with the instruction that he has to eat the fruit first and he will calmly eat his fruit with his eye quietly on the prize. He knows what's in his reach and he has no inclination to eat things out of turn. He can quite easily wait for the goodies, knowing they are within his grasp. He is good with action and consequence. He is easy to discipline and does not like to disappoint. He is a rule follower and prides himself on doing things just as they are suppose to be done. He knows what's fair and gets out of sorts when things don't follow as he expected. There are downfalls to this way of thinking but at the moment his world works for him in this way.

Missy is another story. Given her sweets and fruit, she will eagerly gobble down the treat and we will battle to get the fruit into her. She barters with her brother to help her get the fruit finished so she can leave the table. We have had to change the sequence of events for her as she has very little self restraint. Sure, she is only 2 and a half, but the Rooster could exercise delayed gratification at this age. Our girl has very little self control, she will touch everything even when told not to. She has no fear of consequences and I am constantly having to rethink how I will manage her behaviour. I fear that one day her lack of self restraint will result in some kind of serious injury. Just today she spilt half a bottle of juice because her compulsion to pour the juice was greater than her compliance to the instruction given by me to leave it until Mummy came over. She is so independent and with a strong streak for self discovery.

All of that brings me to today. We decided to do our own little marshmellow test with some M & M's. Given that the two of them had relentlessly hounded me to buy them a packet today, it was the perfect choice. We told them we were playing a game (the Rooster was so excited. He loves games. It's the rule thing again). We would give each child two M & M's on a plate.

They could eat them straight away or, if they could wait till Mummy and Daddy came back from hanging out the washing, they could have two more. Always the negoitiator, the Rooster proposed if they ate one while we were gone would they get one? No, its all or none.

Our money was on the Rooster.

Have a look at what happened when we came back.

This was a surprise, although you have to note that Missy has M & M smeared across her forehead. She obviously was not going to eat them but nobody said anything to her about not playing with them. I am not sure we would have found her with two M & M's had she done the test alone. Maybe watching what her brother was doing was enough to hold her back. Tools gave them the opportunity to double their loot tonight after dinner if they could hold out. 5 hours is a whole lot longer than five minutes and they laughed at him as they gobbled down their 4 tiny sweets.

It will be interesting to see if their ability to delay gratification will develop or wane as they get older and if some of the characteristics noted in the original experiment will apply later in life. I thought it might be worth capturing this moment as a "remember when" for the future.

Do fun stuff


Not sure if you have ever dropped by Pacing the Panic Room. Ryan Marshall is an awesome guy, who spent the best part of this year putting together an album of kids songs to raise money for Smith Magenis Syndrome, a condition that his gorgeous stepson is living with. Little is known about this condition and funds are much needed to research and create case studies for the families who live with SMS.

After a crazy amount of work the album was launched on Monday. Its a kids album for parents, a compilation of very cool songs from artists who are mostly NOT from the children's genre. Everyone involved in the album has donated their creativity and their time and all funds raised will go directly to the SMS foundation.

Have just noted that the widget does not fit into my column but the links are still visible. Click on the links on the widget to read all about it. You can listen to it up there too.




Five

Finally five, my bright eyed boy. You can read and ride a bike. Build Lego from your maps and want to be a fireman when you grow up. You have a great sense of adventure and think that every new plan 'awesome'. You love soccer and scoring goals and your competitive streak has dealt with the disappointment of not being the best at something. I worry that you are not resilient enough to withstand the humps and bumps that you will encounter but I know that your heart is open and honest and generous and I hope that this will hold you in steed for what is to come. Five means that I will soon lose you to school and another world that I will not be entirely privy to. I will let you go, wobbling on life's training wheels as you enter this big new exciting world.

A day late with this post, you woke up today and asked "Am I still five?" Yes, my boy for a whole nother year. Happy Birthday Luca. May five be fabulous.

Happy happy 101

I have been tagged by the very sweet and very clever Sophie for a meme. Reading Sophie's top 10 was like reading a list of my own happy things. I guess when you are a mum its the simple things that make you smile.

Here are 10 things that make me happy.

1. Listening to my boy laugh. Luca is a serious kinda fella, smiley and shy, but when something tickles his fancy, is really funny, the giggle, the outright LAUGH that comes from him, makes my day.

2. My first (and only) coffee of the day. I have sworn off instant in attempt to drink less coffee. The effort to obtain that first hit, the ritual of ordering, sitting and sipping. Ahhhh....sweet.

3. A date with my husband. Far and few between but enough to sustain us until the next time.

4. Holidays. I teach for the lifestyle (certainly not for the money). The first few days away, leaving it all behind, is so re-energising.

5. Walking back into a clean house. More often than not, I clean our house and close the door behind me and head out. Stepping back in, all tidy with that clean floor smell....if only it lasted more than an hour.

6. Miss Ellie. She's a handful, the maker of messes, but truly, the joy of my joyfulness.

7. A good lesson. There is a certain feeling that you get when you walk out of a really good lesson. One where your explanations were good, kids were on task and they leave all smiley and happy with a thanks Miss and have a good day. Teaching Utopia.

8. New shoes (made even more sweeter when on sale. Actually saying that, I only ever buy shoes when they are on sale).

9. Happy movies. Sad movies. Intense movies. Sitting in the dark and emersing myself in someone's story leaves me with a buzz. Maybe it's the opportunity to take time out away from the kids and get some time for myself that is the happy.

10. Good friends. Long chats. Cups of tea and with yummy cake.

So many people have shared their happys already. Here's a few who haven't.

Dandelion
Bare feet and a free spirit
Red Chocolate
Munnkey Business
Ellieboo

Going on and coming off again.

How can it be that my children have never had their faces painted? The Rooster is almost five! I can promise you though, the opportunity has never come up.

I imagine the Rooster was a little anxious and Missy being the sweet little soul she is, sensed he was nervous. Look at her fussing over him making sure he was OK. How sweet is that kitty face?